Hello my lovely readers!
This evening's sonnet is sort of (but not really) a follow on from yesterday's in that it is a poetic meditation on the joy I feel being at home for the holidays. I absolutely love my time at uni, of course, and am lucky to have both such wonderful friends and a team of dedicated PAs - some of whom have even helped out in their time off from other jobs! ('Thank you' will never be a sufficient phrase for that.)
What is different at home, though, is that there are more opportunities for me to do things on my own, whether that be writing up my upgrade documents (because it's quiet enough to use my dictation software) or zooming across to the Heath for some much-needed fresh air. There are also far fewer times where I have someone with me whilst I'm just reading (for instance) because we don't often have such tight turn-arounds for time - and that's great.
My PAs and I have talked a lot about how I still haven't quite got used (even after all these years) to the fact that I don't need to feel bad that they're just sitting next to me (frequently in the chill of Westwood canteen) whilst I read, because they are there for the moment when we need two people at lunchtime and things need to be as speedy as possible in order for one of them to get back to their next lecture. They try to impress upon me that I don't have to feel obligated to break my reading to talk to them - and I know that, but there is still a part of me that feels guilty. So, to compensate for that, I'm always very glad when I can give them breaks, like now.
Being home also means that Mama has to take up a lot of slack, which isn't such a great thing - but the flipside of that is there's more time and opportunities to do things like physio which, in turn, will only lead to more independence (and allow me to take care of her instead of the other way around!).
So, yes, today's piece is about the joy of being home and just being able to be me.
Until tomorrow.
Jx
14th December
Today’s theme is the joy of being home,
and having lots of time to write and read.
For here there’s much that I can do alone;
I feel more autonomous, less in need.
No worry I’m invading others’ space,
as they sit by me whilst I work in silence;
no awkwardness about my personal pace –
just JSTOR, and my dogs, t’offer guidance.
For though I know my PAs never mind,
and whate’er we do’s the nature of the job,
still it can be quite hard to leave behind
the sense that the dynamic’s rather odd.
So, whilst I’m home, it gives them a reprieve
and me the chance to build my self-belief.
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| Copyright Jessi Parrott December 2016 |
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