World Cerebral Palsy Day 2018

Hello my lovely readers

It's been a while, as you'll note from the change in font. (That happened some time ago, too, for accessibility purposes - but I had no energy to write a post then.) Contrary to my usual practice, though, I'm not going to apologise for that; because I took a break for self-care, and self-care is important. So much so that that's the subject of this returning post, which I'm writing for World Cerebral Palsy Day 2018. I have a historical habit of reappearing on this blog for World CP Day, but that feels apt, because I live with CP. So a day centred on awareness of it seems both suitable and sensible to document here.

Not least due to the fact that the majority of the time during my break from blogging has been taken up (alongside my PhD) with navigating my way through new understandings of what life with this condition means. The first year I wrote about today, I focussed on the things I've learnt from CP - I suppose, then, that this year's post deals with things I've learnt about CP. And, as a bridge between them, there is (helpfully) last year's post. In it, I set out some things I wanted to explore and hopefully achieve with my CP (all of which were from my 'Thirty Things Before Thirty' list). Because, reading back over that list this morning, I realised I've met each of the goals I wanted to in the last year, never mind before thirty; perhaps not in the way I might have expected, but things often happen like that.

They were: sit in a manual chair again, fly again, have one professional acting credit, and 'be emotionally and physically ready' for a relationship. 

I won't go into detail about each of them, because that's not the point of this post - but I draw attention to them in order to make that point.

For various reasons, and through help from a variety of sources, I've learnt in the year since the last World CP Day that it means I do things differently. That might seem obvious and, on one level, it always has been. I've always understood it. But I know now that that understanding was superficial, about practical things like needing help with dressing. What I didn't fully comprehend was the more nuanced ways in which my neurology impacted my engagement with the world - that, because CP results from a brain injury, I need to understand my brain if I want to make a difference to how I live in my body, both physically and emotionally.

Again, something I already knew in theory. I've probably even written about it on this blog before; but, when you spend a lot of time doing academic things and are visibly disabled, the refrain tends to be 'well, there's nothing wrong with your brain'. So reminding myself that I'm allowed to take time to work on that brain, and that that is necessary for my success rather than a sign of failure, can take some doing. Especially in the current climate of constant movement and productivity.

But it's working - and it's worth it - so I'm so glad I've been brave enough to give myself that space. It's helping me to be more at peace with my CP, along with many other things.

I hope you're all okay with me doing that, and I hope, too, that you are able to take similar space in the areas you need to do to be healthy (within the parameters of what that means for you). I haven't left this blog completely, and it means a lot that you're still reading.

Love and spoons until next time, and happy World CP Day!

Jx