#WordyandWheelyWednesdays: Vicky Angel

Hello my lovely readers

Today's #WordyandWheelyWednesdays post is rather different from last week's, because, where last week concerned an expression of love for myself, this week concerns an expression of love for my dear friend Vicky. She would have been 26 today. 

When I first read Jacqueline Wilson's book Vicky Angel at primary school, I never thought that I would have one of my own, nor indeed angels named after all the other people I have lost. Grief, especially grief around losing friends, is not something we are comfortable discussing in society; preferring not to talk about it unless we absolutely have to, and often not considering it until it touches us. As I have learnt throughout life with my disability, though, it is far more present an emotion than most people realise - and it is something that only talking can help us work through and deal with. 

That is why, since primary school, I have held onto Wilson's book with all of my heart - because it showed me that both grief, and my responses to it, are valid and important. Crucially, it taught me that one of the best ways to process things is to remember that you carry your special people with you always, even if you can't see them; and that it is both natural and acceptable for happy memories and sadness at their absence to co-exist.

This is how I feel today, on Vicky's birthday, because I am wishing we could be together to celebrate it, whilst simultaneously feeling extremely grateful that I got to have her in my life at all. We had so much fun, writing stories and sharing secrets, and I can't help but feel sad that we aren't still doing that now. Then I am reminded of her cheeky grin and the way she could make me laugh when I was homesick or stressing about work, and I know she wouldn't want me to dwell too much on her not being here, but rather to head out and make the most of life - just as she always did.

So, tonight, I'll be watching a play about another community who are well-versed in loss, living at the height of the AIDS crisis in the 1980s. It is called Angels in America, and it celebrates life and love, without shying away from the difficulties. As I watch, I'll think of my own angel, honour her life and wish her the happiest of birthdays.

Love you always, darling girl xxx